Triple Negative Breast Cancer
For the Caregiver
Caregivers play a vital role in caring for a loved one with triple negative breast cancer (TNBC). It is an incredibly important responsibility that can improve the life of the person with cancer. The role will be challenging, yet rewarding, and will require patience and flexibility. As you take on this challenging role, being proactive about your own health can go a long way to helping you be the best you can be. Following are some ways to care for your own well-being.
Plan ahead. Make a list of items that will be needed or tasks your loved one might need help with. Come to medical appointments with a list of questions. Find out how you can be most helpful regarding treatments. If she has surgery, learn how to assist with drains or bandages. Schedule drug and radiation treatments on Fridays so the side effects happen on the weekend when you and other caregivers can offer support.
Delegate tasks. Call upon others to offer assistance and take the load off of you. Friends can bring meals or set up meal deliveries, offer rides, run errands and do household chores. Consider creating a schedule to keep track of who is helping and when.
Surround yourself with support. Seek out a local or online cancer support group, peer-to-peer counseling organization or a cancer caregivers’ support group. It can help immensely to talk with another person who has been in your shoes.
Practice self-care. You must care for yourself. Self-care will help you feel re-energized, happier and better prepared for your ongoing caregiving responsibilities. Think about the activities that make you happy. Find something to laugh about every day, and share it with her. Laughter is a healthy and fun way to reduce stress.
Acknowledge your feelings. Caregivers can get burned out, which may lead to moodiness or anger. Watch for these warning signs that you need to take a break:
- Experiencing prolonged feelings of sadness
- Feeling tired despite getting plenty of rest
- Losing interest in hobbies you used to enjoy
- Getting sick more often
- Noticing you are increasingly impatient
- Changing appetite or sleep patterns
- Having trouble concentrating
- Gaining weight due to stress eating or being more sedentary
Give yourself some grace. Understand that you can’t do everything and may not get everything right. Know that you are doing the best that you can. Focus on what you can control, such as your emotional responses, mindset and how you manage your time and energy.
Find stress relievers. Taking care of someone in addition to your normal daily duties can cause stress to build up. Finding something to laugh about every day is good medicine for both of you. It increases serotonin levels, reduces blood pressure, increases T-cell production (which are cells in our bodies that fight cancer cells) and, frankly, feels good. Whether it is watching a funny movie, reading jokes, or even joining the realm of dark humor (a common place where patients find laughter for themselves), all can benefit you both. For example, if hair loss is one of the side effects from chemotherapy treatments, tell her that she won’t have to worry about having a bad hair day for a while.
When Helping Your Loved One...
Caring for someone with breast cancer can be stressful, there are many ways to help and support your loved one. After receiving a TNBC diagnosis, your loved one may be focused on how to get through treatment, manage side effects and take care of themself. It may be difficult for them to ask for help or accept your help, even though you are anxious to be there for them.
Don’t take it personally if they are angry or sad or stressed. It’s not you. It is having to deal with a life-altering cancer diagnosis. Along with the following, gently ask if there is anything you can do that would make them feel better and respect their choices.
- Attend medical appointments.
- Learn about your loved one’s diagnosis from the health care provider and trusted resources.
- Be as involved in treatment discussions with the health care provider as they would like you to be.
- Support your loved one’s decisions, from seeking a second opinion to having reconstructive surgery.
- Manage the financial paperwork, drive to appointments, fill prescriptions or do household chores.
- Ask how much closeness is comfortable for them so you can respect their boundaries and give them time alone when they need it.
- Be a sounding board. Let them know they can talk to you about anything including intimacy.
- Be kind.
